- Me three years ago: Oh God I hope nobody realizes I'm gay
- Me now: Dammit why doesn't anybody realize I'm gay
So I decided it was getting frustrating trying to explain me to people, so I annotated a genderbread man from here. I figure I’ll just link people to this next time.
My default state is just not feeling that gender is even a thing (agender), or wanting to be simultaneously male and female (androgyny, I guess) but some days I’m definitely 100% female (and once in a while I have a day or two where I get dysphoric over not having a penis and want to cut my uterus out). I figure the only way to describe that is genderfluid; my gender changes. It doesn’t change who I am at that second, and really you can just address me with any pronoun (except “it”) at any point. Just don’t call me a woman; I don’t like that word. Not sure why.
Some days, as you no doubt would know if you know me in person, I’m undeniably presenting as female. Sometimes I do drop my voice and speak from my chest, and express in a more typically male way. But mostly I go for androgyny: either in genderless dressing (flannel shirt and jeans, anyone?) or in mixing gendered cues.
I was assigned female at birth.
Welp, this might take a little explaining. I’m more romantically attracted to guys, or to masculinity in any gender really, but a little more sexually attracted to femininity. Also, trans* people (and anyone else who doesn’t present as gender-conforming) just really…hot damn, man, they tick all the boxes.
Anyway. In general I don’t get romantically attached very easily at all (to do with the fact that I just don’t do emotion a lot of the time, and don’t often choose to let myself into a relatively vulnerable situation.) Comfortable with my sexuality, but thus far I haven’t tended to have sex outside committed relationships, since the amount of sexual baggage I’m still dealing with is a bit unfair to offload on anyone else. Oh, and I’m also polyamorous, which means that I can have multiple committed relationships at one point, with everyone involved having full knowledge of course.
Okay, that’s all my explaining in one diagram! For more info on each of these scales, there’s a bit more explaining at the first genderbread diagram. Neither is quite accurate, but it’s useful. I feel that gender and all the other things are quiiite a lot more complicated than can be represented, but this is as close to making sense out of it as I can get.