femme and fabulous
Today was just the best day.
I woke up this morning maybe an hour before the intersex workshop that Rainbow Youth were putting on, and was like “oh maybe I should dress androgynously today, you know, since it’s gonna be a post-binary space”. But I felt ridiculously femme (not female! just really really… femme, in a drag-queen sort of way. Genderfluidity is weird; I identified as masculine today, but presented as extremely femme masculine. Gender expression does not equal gender identity, guys!) So I decided to queer it up instead!
I don’t know. It was just an incredible workshop, an incredible film (you can check out the film Intersexion here) and an incredible bunch of people. I met Curvaceous Dee and basically fangirled over her! She is awesome to talk to! Lots of other wonderful people were there!
Then I caught a ride with Jono Selu to QWest, Rainbow Youth’s West Auckland group; arrived early, so had a coffee while discussing trans* acceptance and culture around the world and in schools, then when we started today’s theme was queer history (which quickly devolved into a huge talk about relationships and how a lot of gay couples never really… date) and it was great fun and lots of laughs.
And… I dunno. Any other day I would have been super uncomfortable being quite so femme, quite so fabulous, as I would have been read as an over-the-top female. But I just felt queer, incredibly queer, and incredibly welcome.
I went shopping with my sister after. Bought a bitchin’ pair of camo pants (which make my ass look fantastic), then waltzed out singing Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” way too loudly. And I heard the tween girl behind me stage-whisper to her mother, “Mom, that girl is acting like those gays from Glee.” And I laughed and turned to my sister, saying “that’s right, I’m absolutely fabulous today.” Sashayed the hell out of there, hand-flapping and all, my polka-dot skirt swishing around my stockinged thighs.
It is absolutely incredible to be in a space where gender is obviously not a binary, where “ze” is normal, where “one of my partners” is normal, where sex and kink and genderqueer-ness and all that is totally wonderful. And that I felt free to be totally femme, as I felt, and not be judged as a cis girly girl or an overenthusiastic ally was wonderful. (Although, of course, I’m keenly aware of my privilege as a cis-appearing, FAAB individual - more so after that powerful film.)
I’m still on a high. Woo.
Fuck the world and what it thinks. I’m queer, I’m here, and I’m feeling fucking fabulous.