klutz.geek.nz

jagged red harbingers of change

       An insidious pop-up screen flattens out across my word document. It prompts me to submit a list of words to Microsoft to help keep their auto-edit dictionary up to date. The list is long and contains queer words like, “genderqueer, trans*, genderfuck, and faggotry.” The list is also peppered with words i use to articulate an anarcha-feminist critique of society, words like “anarcha-feminist, inconducive, normative, and multilateral.”

       My writing, although frequently sharp and articulate, is constantly draped in that squiggly red line of disapproval. My computer is a watchdog, constantly howling in alarm that my very language is a challenge to the status quo. The jagged red lightning bolts are a reminder that my work operates in defiance.

       My expression is not one that can be pinned down by Miriam Webster. It sings in a chaotic chorus that sings and screams; it’s a chorus that’s a harbinger of the changing tide. i’m constantly reminded that my writing is exactly what i want it to be, a threat to structures of gender and normativity.

       Queer folks, especially adamant and outspoken queer folks, are frequently accused in our society of challenging family values. That’s exactly what i’m going for. Family values are destructive to individuals’ capacity to self-determine, to uncover and express agency in society. i absolutely want to challenge that, to operate as a bulwark against oppressive structure.

       Red lightning streaking across my page shows me that i’m accomplishing that which i’ve set out to do. It reminds me that my writing is just so, red lightning in the face of an oppressively clear sky that doesn’t allow for the full beautiful expression of queer storms. We’re not “correct,” we don’t always fit snugly into the black-and-white comfort of the dictionary, but i refuse to be auto-corrected.

bloody fantastic, both just as a well-written piece of prose and for the sentiment it holds.